But why is tech tough and stressful, with long hours and impossible deadlines? Does it have to be? Is it at all possible that the people who are succeeding at it are doing it, not because they are amazing people in their own right, but because they are in a relationship and they can punt many of the day-to-day responsibilities to the other partner so they can concentrate on their careers?

What could we gain by making development a job you can work 8 hours and then leave behind? What if we valued doing a good job the first time over the heroics it takes to rescue a project that's going down in flames because developers cut corners to meet stupid interim deadlines that mean nothing but cause periodic death marches? For both/all genders.